So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
