So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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