Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize