I think I died a long time ago.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize