so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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