in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
