Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
