I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
