I'm sorry my penis didn't work
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
