Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize