Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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