Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
