oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
