I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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