its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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