I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize