Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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