i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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