There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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