can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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