i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
