I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
