Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Acid is not a monday night drug
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize