Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
