you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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