Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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