How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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