some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
