it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
