Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
