Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
