I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
