im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
