And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
