i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
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Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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