There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
