ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
