I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
