fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
