So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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