I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
