at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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