she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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