So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
