they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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