so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
50% drunk capacity currently
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.