hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Im part way to drunk.