they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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