Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
