I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I need a beard to bite.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
