She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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