what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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