check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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