I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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