Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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(205): View more from Alabama

just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.

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(917): View more from New York City

My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.

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(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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(512): View more from Texas

He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.

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(540): View more from Virginia

We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.

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(312): View more from Illinois

It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.

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