He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
