mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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