Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize