He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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