I wanna bring you to show and tell
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Found your dick twin last night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
