Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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