When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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