this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
