I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
