people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
