its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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